Five Things the Introverted Must Know about Nightclubs - Part 1

Bars and nightclubs can be tough for a lot of guys insofar as meeting women is concerned -- they are not part of the ordinary world in the sense that many of the usual social techniques that we use to impress each other crash and burn in this environment. The women look extra smokin' and are densely packed in one big room, but that's about where the advantages over everyday life pretty much end for most of us. Everyone has their attention focused on the top 10% of the hottest bodies moving around them like sleek, beautiful animals (and this goes for both the men AND the women). Because of this fantasy phenomenon, the rest of us look lessened and low quality in the shadow of the visually hottest.

For instance, if you happen to have the male disease of shortness like I do, you will seem that much shorter and perhaps even comical standing next to the towering, muscular Sven or his rap star look-alike buddy at the nightclub. Girls who would otherwise pick up a flirt in a grocery store isle will reject you in a heartbeat simply for failing to make that top 20% cut. It's an environment that requires a thick skin for casual rejection if you happen to strike an average pose, to say the least.

With that in mind, here's 5 important things to know about successfully socializing within the fantasy universe of bars and clubs:

1) The bar / club scene demands that you participate in the culture of what I call the "3-D's"... Dancing, Dressing, and the Displaying of attitude. You know what I'm talking about here and if you don't then you need to visit a few of these places and observe the dynamics going on for yourself. Guys who play the part expected of them by the foxy bar-queens that populate these places do the best. Whereas guys who stand around and watch, well... they stand around and watch. If these kinds of behaviors don't come natural to you, then you'll have to learn how to playact your way into this mindset because it's the only way that you'll have any sort of reasonable success-to-rejection ratio.

Begin by frequenting some of the best places near you. Watch and study the "players" who seem to always have women buzzing around them. These guys did not simply show up one day and rule the roost – they paid their dues by spending many evenings dancing and drinking, flirting and getting shot down, staying at it until they made a few breakthroughs... and finally making some "friends of a feather" and creating a little entourage for themselves. This doesn't happen overnight. It takes a commitment of time and money... cover fees, hot clothes, bar tabs, etc. It takes a commitment and desire to burrow deep into this scene and become at ease within it.

Extroverts naturally do much better than introverts in the high-pressure club environment because they take to the whole dancing-drinking-romancing thing like a fish to water, whereas introverts tend to turtle up and become cautious... a demeanor that can make you all but socially invisible. A meek little "Hi my name is Joe..." will likely be ignored -- you just won't show up on anyone's radar giving off personality power this feeble.

By: Mike Pilinski